Recipes
HOW ABOUT A NICE TALL GLASS OFCHILL THE FUCK OUT?TRY A BLACKBERRY BOURBON FIZZ. THE BOURBON HELPS YOU FIGHT BULLSHIT
May 22, '13

You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re sipping on this tasty glass of general badassery. The antioxidant loaded in theses blackberries will make sure free radicals aren’t fucking up your day. And the bourbon? YOU EARNED THAT SHIT.

FUCK THAT CHUNKY STORE-BOUGHT MAYONNAISE BULLSHITEAT A REAL POTATO SALADNOBODY NEEDS MAYO IN THEIR LIFE
May 18, '13
You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy. You can even leave it in the sun for a minute and it won’t get all gross like that potatomayo nonsense they try to pass off as a salad. People don’t deserve that basic, bland shit.
CAN'T COOK? NO PROBLEMMASH MOTHERFUCKER GRAPEFRUIT GUACAMOLE. THIS SIMPLE SON OF A BITCH HAS VITAMIN C
May 14, '13

You don’t need a party to get down on some guacamole. Put it on a salad, taco, tostada, sandwich, whatever you want. The vitamin C keeps your immune system up while you grub down. Eat it with your hands. I don’t give a flying fuck. SNACK LIFE. 

YEAH I GROW THE SHIT OUTTA LETTUCECALL THE COPS, I DON'T GIVE A FUCKTHUG KITCHEN, BITCHES
May 10, '13

ANYBODY CAN GRILL A FUCKING BURGER OR HOTDOG. Elevate your grilling game with something that simpleminded motherfuckers wouldn’t even consider. Grilling veggies is some classy shit and it only takes a few minutes. I am not talking about some played out portabella burger that tastes like a dirty sponge. Eggplant, artichokes, okra, lettuce: all that shit can be thrown on the grill and are in peak form during the spring and summer. People are guaranteed to come correct next time you invite them over. Raise the fucking bar and grill to impress.

MOTHERFUCKING LAVENDER LEMONADE CALM YOUR BITCH ASS DOWN LIKE A BOSSDRINK SOME FUCKING FLOWERS
May 09, '13

Five simple fucking ingredients in this bitch right here. This is some good shit to make when you are feeling bougie as fuck. High-fructose corn syrup? Naw son, I don’t play that. Hit this with some vodka though, different story. Max relax.

PUT THAT NASTY STORE-BOUGHT MIX THE FUCK DOWN & GET THISSTRAWBERRY GRAPEFRUIT MARGARITANONE OF THAT ARTIFICIAL BULLSHIT IN HERE
May 03, '13

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo? It’s one of my favorite holidays for bad decisions. This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40? WHATTHEFUCKISTHAT? Artificial flavors? GO FUCK YOURSELF. Don’t be serving up disrespectful drinks.

EAT A GODDAMN SALADUCK IT, EAT TEN & BRAG ABOUT IT
May 02, '13

You might make some friends with this shit here. Roasted strawberries and coconut flakes make this salad look classy as fuck but it’s still a choice delivery method for all that fiberand antioxidants. Make someroom on your plate for this nutritious motherfucker.

We did this with our friends at FoodBeast. Check their shit out. I’ve been reading dessert recipes over there for the last hour, I should probably get back to work.

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