Ginger and Collard Green Fried Rice
Stack 4 collard green leaves on top of each other. Remove the stems with a sharp knife and trim 2 inches from the bottoms of each stem. Cut the stems into 1/8-inch pieces. Cut the leaves into 2-inch squares. Get the rest of the ingredients out because it all goes super fast from here.
Heat the vegetable oil in a medium sauté pan, skillet, or wok over medium. Add the shallot, garlic, and ginger and cook until shallot is translucent. Add the collard leaves and stems to the pan and cook, stirring a bunch, for about 1 minute. Drizzle in the vinegar, soy sauce, and mirin. Fold in the rice and cover so that everything gets a chance to warm up. Simmer until the rice is heated through, about 2 minutes. Uncover and drizzle with sesame oil. Remove from heat and let stand 2 minutes.
Garnish with the scallions, jalapeño slices, sesame seeds, lime wedges and red pepper flakes if you can hang.
You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF.
Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.