Recipes
Hot Fudge

Doesn't matter how much money you got in the bank or what you've got parked in the garage BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HOMEMADE FUDGE CHILLIN IN YOUR FRIDGE YOU'RE NOT LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

ALFREDO SAUCE

Alfredo should NEVER be bought. This is prob the easiest, simplest, and classiest sauce to make at home. It's usually got a shitload of fat tho, which is just unnecessary especially if you're pourin it over carbs. Our alfredo packs pure flavor without the weight so you can double your carb intake. YOU'RE WELCOME.

SEASONINGS
EATINGS

As we do every holiday season we put together this dope database of recipes from our site and books to help you survive the season. If you already got our books, you're probably a well-adjusted and beautiful person. If you don't have our books please GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER and join the rest of us in the 21st century. ALSO you could grab a copy for your equally kitchen incompetent family and friends, ya know... being the holidays and all. SPREAD JOY, USE FOOD.

Tahini
Sauce

Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party. Hell no, cuz you'd chop your own veggies and serve this simple as fuck tahini to your friends and coworkers AND YOUR BOSS WOULD BE SO IMPRESSED YOU'D GET PROMOTED AND NOW YOU HAVE A CORNER OFFICE ALL THANKS TO SAUCE.

Roasted
Red Pepper Sauce

Potatoes are just a suggestion cuz they're an easy party snack but this sauce is dope on almost everything. Spread it on a sandwich, serve it with some raw veggies, bread, whatever you’ve got. It will improve some of the lamest parties just by being there. Ya know, kinda like you.

Naughty
Sour

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.

Sparkling
Pomegranate
Punch

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of glass. MAKE 2018 FEAR YOU. ESTABLISH DOMINANCE.

happy new year's bitches ❤️

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