You can still eat like a kid because
NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC
You need more onion rings in your life but nobody likes being assaulted by hot oil popping outta the skillet. Simple and healthier solution, bake those bitches.
SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles. Unless you’re a climate change denier then you can go eat a big bowl of dicks.
No party, game night, or chill sesh is complete without this snacking staple. Our recipe is half the fat and waaayyyy less sodium than the OG version so you can munch away without feeling gut guilt.
Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because somethings old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.
The fellas from Soup Weather podcast came by our kitchen and we talked about mushroom coffee, the Taco Bell wedding, pizza pheromones, and John Cena being a goddamn national treasure that speaks fluent Mandarin.
Now grab the stockpot and LET'S MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKIN SOUP.
TEAR SHIT APART
This recipe has everything:
bread, roasted garlic.
We don't need to sell y'all on gravy. This shit sells itself. Gravy is king of the holiday foods but great year-round on biscuits with some wilted greens. If you're lazy, just pour it on some toast. You can add gravy to just about anything and it's an upgrade. Pour some gravy on your resume. Pour it on your marriage. Try some gravy on your President. INSTANT UPGRADE. IT'S ALL GRAVY BABY.
Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.