Recipes

Cranberry Sauce

PUT.THE.FUCKING.CAN.OPENER.DOWN. Trust us on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?!

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Vegetable Potpies

Are you tired of spending every Thanksgiving watching your family shove their hands up a dead bird’s ass? If only there was a better way...

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Roasted Tomato Soup

THIS FLU SEASON AIN'T FUCKIN AROUND AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER which is why you need a big bowl of our roasted tomato soup bc that canned soup ain't nothin but spoonfuls of sodium.

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Pumpkin Ginger Blondies

Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

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Winter Vegetable Hominy Hash en Croute

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

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Sweet Potato Loaf

Forget buying some nasty ass scented candles to make it smell like Fall. Bake a batch of this badass bread and your place will smell dope as hell.

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