Recipes
WHO'S THE BADASS WHO BROUGHT PASTA SALAD?YOU AREEXPECT A SORE HAND FROM ALL THE HIGH FIVES COMING YOUR WAY
Jun 20, '13

You know how you lied and said that you’d actually bring something to the party this time?  FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad? Throw that shit away because it doesn’t even hold a candle to what you just brought to the table.  That zesty Italian dressing shit is played out.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EAT FOR LUNCH? IF IT WASN'T A SUMMER TEMPEH SAMMIETAKE THE AFTERNOON OFF AND RE-EVALUATE SOME SHIT
Jun 14, '13

WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T LOVE A GOOD SANDWICH? Well this here is a damn fine sandwich that I guarantee your taste buds would high five you if they could. I mean I’m no scientist, maybe they can high five. What the fuck do I know? SANDWICHES. That’s what I fucking know.

TOMATO SPREADHIT YOUR SANDWICH WITH SOME FUCKING FLAVOR, NOT SOME BROKEN PROMISES
Jun 14, '13

Spread some of this goodness on your next sandwich. It’s fucking delicious. And it lets you double up on your protein sources and cut down on the fat. Shit, don’t limit yourself to just sammies. This is a choice dip so grab some carrots and cucumbers. Afternoon snack: FUCKING DONE.

QUINOA OATMEAL HAS SO MUCH GODDAMN FIBER & PROTEIN, YOU'LL GO TO WORKAND PUNCH THE CLOCK IN THE FUCKING FACE
May 28, '13

Don’t give me that “I don’t eat breakfast” bullshit. It’s too early to be an asshole. The fiber in the oatmeal helps control your blood sugar and keeps you feeling full until lunch. The quinoa gives your morning a little extra protein because why the fuck not? Start your day right by owning the shit out of it. CARPE FUCKING DIEM.

DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR EATING A FUCKING BURGERGRAB ONE OF THESE HEALTHY HAND GRENADESSTART A DELICIOUS WAR WITH FLAVOR HATERS
May 24, '13

Next time someone tells you to eat more veggies, get down on these tiny motherfuckers. These low fat, high fiber sons of bitches are healthy as shit without sacrificing flavor. Trying to eat better? START WITH A FUCKING BURGER.

HOW ABOUT A NICE TALL GLASS OFCHILL THE FUCK OUT?TRY A BLACKBERRY BOURBON FIZZ. THE BOURBON HELPS YOU FIGHT BULLSHIT
May 22, '13

You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re sipping on this tasty glass of general badassery. The antioxidant loaded in theses blackberries will make sure free radicals aren’t fucking up your day. And the bourbon? YOU EARNED THAT SHIT.

FUCK THAT CHUNKY STORE-BOUGHT MAYONNAISE BULLSHITEAT A REAL POTATO SALADNOBODY NEEDS MAYO IN THEIR LIFE
May 18, '13
You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy. You can even leave it in the sun for a minute and it won’t get all gross like that potatomayo nonsense they try to pass off as a salad. People don’t deserve that basic, bland shit.
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