Recipes
Friendly reminder toeat a goddamn saladyour asshole will thank you
Jun 08, '16

What in the fuck is a “hidden valley”? And why are we importing condiments from this sketchy-ass place? Don’t trust some store-bought dressing with hidden ingredients, make your own shit. ‘Cause nobody likes barenaked veggies. #itsbeen

Spend this weekendslidin' dirty
May 26, '16

Don’t spend your Memorial Day weekend letting your creepy uncle serve limp hot dogs and hockey puck hamburgers. Instead, whip up a batch of BBQ Bean Sliders with Celery Seed Slaw from our book TK2:Party Grub (LINK) and show people you’ve got some goddamn standards.

Wanna take it up a notch? Here’s the recipe for the grilled corn AKA elotes because we can’t just leave you hanging like that. Buy the book though, shit is lit. 

Tres Motherfucking LechesSometimes two leches just won't cut it
May 12, '16

Once upon a time, some motherfuckers were all, “We like cake and milk, but who has the time for both?” So they messed around in the kitchen until they got this sweet son of a bitch.* 

*almost positive this definitely probably happened.

MAY THE FOURTH MARGARITA BE WITH YOU
May 03, '16

This drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinking more than one or four, just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber then throw chips at them, yelling “IT’S NACHO FUCKING BUSINESS.”

Scope the Butternut Squash Queso recipe from our second book TK2:Party Grub

EAT YOUR GODDAMN VEGETABLES AND MAKE MOM HAPPYFUCK YEAH CARROT CAKE COUNTS
Apr 27, '16

You’re not gonna take your mom to the fucking Olive Garden like you did last year, right? You should bake your mom a cake for Mother’s Day. She’ll be happy you’re eating some vegetables and it’s the least you can do since she baked you. 

NO TIME TO EAT BREAKFAST?FUCKING DRINK IT
Apr 07, '16

Full of fiber with a dash of protein, this tasty bastard works as a filling breakfast shake or hearty dessert.

BOTTOMS UP, CHAMP.

SLIDE INTO SPRING WITH THIS CRUNCHY SON OF A BITCH AND SAYFUCK NO TO MAYO
Mar 18, '16

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

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