Since you’re probably eating nachos for the big game, sideline the questionable cheese-like product and sub-in our butternut squash queso for a touchdown… or home run… or whatever the fuck sports pun you think is appropriate. Go sports! Do the thing! Win all the points! TEAM NAME!
Don’t start your New Year by eating some goddamn gut grenade. Instead dish up a bowl of this deliciousness; eating greens promises more money and noodles promise long life. So start your year getting paid in the shade you immortal motherfucker.
You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies? Not sure how you were raised but we treat our magical guests with some goddamn respect ‘round here. Whether that old man visits you or not, bake a batch of these sweet sons of bitches and get sconed for the holidays.
Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round. But nobody does that shit for a reason. Spend this Thanksgiving with something worth carving up with this mix of fall flavors wrapped in a warm hug that is puff pastry. Do right by yourself this holiday and stop the bland bird bandwagon. #flipthebird
This dish was featured in a New York Daily News interview with some of our other holiday recommendations.
This smoothie, from the lovely ladies at Simple Green Smoothies, tastes like a creamsicle but without all motherfucking food dye and corn syrup. Packed with protein, fiber, vitamin E, and potassium this lean, green, nutritional machine is a legit post workout treat you can whirl up after impressing everyone at the gym. Or after rolling outta bed at noon and flexing in the mirror. No judgment.
Want more badass blender recipes? Grab the new book by Simple Green Smoothies and start eating better with the push of a button.
Our collab with The Meatball Shop went so well that the vegan balls SOLD. THE FUCK. OUT. Big thanks to the crew at TMS and everyone who stopped by to try the balls. For anyone who got there after they sold out and for everybody who lives outside NYC, WE GOT YOU. Here’s the recipe to cook up your own set of balls and add them to a sandwich, pasta, salad, whateverthefuck you’re into. Cook up a batch and ball hard.
Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.