Recipes

Cranberry Spritzer

Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.

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Hot Chocolate Mix

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a bunch of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

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Naughty Sour

This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.

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Sparkling Pomegranate Punch

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2018 FEAR YOU. ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches ❤

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Strawberry Lime Margaritas

This drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinking more than one or four, just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber then throw chips at them, yelling “IT’S NACHO FUCKING BUSINESS.”

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Sparkling Grapefruit & Gin Punch

Don’t just ring in the New Year, start that motherfucker off with a BANG. This is a punch that lives up to the name, so you and your friends might be dropping before the ball does this year. So if you're gonna get fall down drunk, do it

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Stone Fruit Smash

There’s nothing wrong with a cold beer on a hot day but sometimes you’ve got to change shit up. Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing son of a bitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find.

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Spiked Citrus Iced Tea

NO SHIT IT'S HOT, IT'S FUCKING SUMMER. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with spiked citrus iced tea.

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Watermelon Cucumber Slushie

If you’ve gone all summer without drinking a single slushie, take the rest of the day off and whip up this refreshing motherfucker right here.

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Cold Brewed Coffee

We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.

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