Recipes

Beastless Feasts

As we do every holiday season we put together this dope database of recipes from our site and books to help you survive the season. If you already got our books, you're probably a well-adjusted and beautiful person.

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Cranberry Spritzer

Cranberry sauce is a holiday leftover that just keeps on givin. You can put that shit in a sandwich, mix it in a salad, or even a cocktail. So go rescue that cranberry sauce from the back of the fridge and GET LIT WITH LEFTOVERS.

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Hot Chocolate Mix

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a bunch of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

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Citrus Poppy Seed Cookies

Everything is exhausting right now but chin up bitches bc COOKIES. These citrus poppy seed cookies are a refreshing summer snack for beating the heat or trying to ignore the headlines.

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Mango Chia Lime Pops

ANYBODY WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT POPSICLES FOR BREAKFAST CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF BC THESE FROSTY BOYS HAVE NO ADDED SUGAR SO TECHNICALLY IT'S A SMOOTHIE CHECKMATE BITCH

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Wine Cake

There’s rum cake and that’s pretty dope, right? So why not wine cake? Some people might see a cake and ask why, we see a cake and ask wine.

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Hot Fudge

Doesn't matter how much money you got in the bank or what you've got parked in the garage BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HOMEMADE FUDGE CHILLIN IN YOUR FRIDGE YOU'RE

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Tangerine Coulis

This coulis has a shitload of vitamin C to upgrade any breakfast SO START YOUR DAY WITH SOME C SAUCE.

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Sweet Potato Chai Spiced Scones

You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?

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Rosemary Caramel Corn

You might be thinking rosemary and caramel corn might seem odd as hell together but that shit works. Unlikely combinations have given us such amazing things like Alien vs Predator. Or Freddy vs Jason. Or Batman and Scooby Doo.

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