Recipes
SWEET POTATOESDON'T BURY THEM UNDER FUCKING MARSHMALLOWS, WRAP THAT SHIT UP
Oct 17, '13

Sweet Potatoes have a shitload of antioxidants and betacarotene. I’m so goddamn tired of seeing sweet potatoes being served under an inch of marshmallows and butter. EVERY. FUCKING. FALL.  Don’t you realize there are vitamins in these naturally sweet sons of bitches? The beta-carotene in them alone will help keep your skin looking right and vision on point. What the fuck is the marshmallow fluff doing for you? NOT A GODDAMN THING.

 

STILL MAKING PANCAKES WITH PREMIXED POWDER?GRAB SOME PEACHES AND GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
Sep 20, '13

Thug Kitchen and Cooking Comically teamed up to serve your ass some peach pancakes. 

MAKE SOME BEAN & BEER CHILIBECAUSE SITTING ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY IS NO FUCKING EXCUSE TO FUMBLE YOUR FOOD
Sep 06, '13

Trying to feed a big ass crowd for the football game? DON’T FUCK AROUND WITH SOME CAMPBELL’S CHUNKY SODIUM SOUP. Serve your guests this gridiron grub and give those bastards protein, fiber, and a full stomach all on the cheap. Sneak some veggies in that motherfucker like zucchini, peppers, and carrots and nobody will taste the goddamn difference because you’re a nutritional ninja.

BLUEBERRY BASIL G&T AND A CUCUMBER ROSEMARY G&TFINISH SUMMER WITH A COLD GLASS OF FUCKING CLASS
Sep 02, '13
Tell your problems to wait until normal business hours for bullshit because YOU NEED A FUCKING DAY OFF.  But don’t ruin a good time by using tonic that has fucking corn syrup. That sweet syrupy shit will ruin the taste and your waist.
COOL YOUR ASS DOWNSNACK ON SOME FROZEN BANANA POPS MOTHERFUCKERS
Aug 30, '13
WHO WANTS SOME GODDAMN DESSERT? Frozen bananas are legit treats that can make you feel like you’re at the boardwalk even if you’re just standing in front of an oscillating fan in your apartment. USE YOUR IMAGINATION MOTHERFUCKER. Make some of these with the kids, they love that shit. Whether you let them read my recipe or not, that’s on you.
STOP THE SHAMEFUL SNACKINGMAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN SMOKEY EGGPLANT DIP, DON'T BUY INTO FRITO LAY FUCKERY
Aug 22, '13
Eggplant is abundant as fuck this time of year so you can buy them on the cheap. Not sure what the hell to do with an eggplant? Grab that Grimace-looking son of a bitch and roast the shit out of it so you can whip together this dope dip. Stow those prepackaged sad excuses for a snack and GET FUCKING SERIOUS.
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN SOME BOLOGNA SANDWICHMAKE THIS CHICKPEA PESTO SANDWICH, T PACKS A MEAN PROTEIN PUNCH
Aug 14, '13
GARBANZO BEANS. CHICKPEAS. WHATEVERTHEFUCK YOU WANT TO CALL THEM. These tiny bastards are filled to the brim with protein, fiber, iron, folate, B-6, magnesium, and all kinds of other boss nutritious shit that your body needs on the daily.If you’re short on time or feeling lazy you can buy them already cooked in a can. They’re less than a fucking dollar. Try them as a sandwich filling, blended up to make hummus, or roasted and wrapped into a burrito. I mean shit, you can use this recipe as a dip or toss it on top of salad. Chickpeas are versatile as fuck.

 

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