Recipes

Roasted Broccolini Herb Noodles

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

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Buffalo Caesar Wrap

Y’all ever fuck around and wrap some food with twine? Can’t explain why but somehow it just makes food taste better. Someone fund the science behind this please.

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Clean Out The Fridge Pasta

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

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Spinach Falafel

If you're like us, you crave falafel regularly but WHO IN THE FUCK has a deep fryer? This recipe's got all the flavor you fancy AND it's a great way to sneak more spinach into your diet.

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Jackfruit Carnitas Tacos

When it comes to something as essential as tacos, don't settle for some soggy sodium shell. Instead try these Jackfruit Carnitas for tacos, burritos, a salad, or just stand over the pot and go to town. NO JUDGEMENT.

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BOSH! Burger

In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

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Cold Mango Soba Noodle Salad

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

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Jackfruit Banh Mi

Yeah, yeah, yeah all you banh mi purists WE KNOW this is far from traditional BUT our version of this Vietnamese classic is so goddamn good that it might just ruin all future sandwiches for you. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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Alfredo Sauce

Alfredo should NEVER be bought. This is prob the easiest, simplest, and classiest sauce to make at home. It's usually got a shitload of fat tho, which is just unnecessary especially if you're pourin it over carbs.

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Late Summer Tomato Nectarine Pasta

Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

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