Recipes

Roasted Broccolini Herb Noodles

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

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Spinach And Squash Noodle Nests

If your potlucks are just dips and casseroles, it's time to upgrade. Whip up a batch of these next level noodle nests and shame the shit out of your friends' dishes. ANYONE BRINGING BEAN DIP YOU'RE GETTIN DISH DUTY FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT.

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Egyptian Macaroni Bechamel

Don't let the recipe intimidate you, sure there's a few steps to this dish but if it's just like assembling lasagna SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND GET WITH THIS CAIRO COMFORT FOOD

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Clean Out The Fridge Pasta

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

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Cold Mango Soba Noodle Salad

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

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Alfredo Sauce

Alfredo should NEVER be bought. This is prob the easiest, simplest, and classiest sauce to make at home. It's usually got a shitload of fat tho, which is just unnecessary especially if you're pourin it over carbs.

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Late Summer Tomato Nectarine Pasta

Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

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Grilled Veggie Couscous Salad

Tired of the same old mayo-mess of pasta salad spoiling in the summer sun? Ditch that cream colored bullshit and get with this fiber rich son of a bitch.

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Snap Pea and Radish Rice Noodles with Peanut Pesto

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

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