Recipes

Strawberry Rosé Pancakes

Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.

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Strawberry Oat Bars

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

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Mixed Berry Summersicles

This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.

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Strawberry Lime Margaritas

This drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinking more than one or four, just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber then throw chips at them, yelling “IT’S NACHO FUCKING BUSINESS.”

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Strawberry Grapefruit Margarita

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo?  This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40?

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Blackberry Bourbon Fizz

You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re sipping on this tasty glass of general badassery. The antioxidant loaded in theses blackberries will make sure free radicals aren’t fucking up your day.

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