DARK AND STORMY COCONUT CREAM PIE
makes 1 pie, enough for 8 people
Coconut Rum Custard Filling:
3 tablespoons cornstarch or arrowroot powder
¼ cup sugar
pinch of salt
1 13.5 ounce can of coconut milk, about 1 ¾ cup
3/4 cup almond or other non-dairy milk
¼ cup dark rum
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger
Lime Shortbread Pressed Crust:
1 ½ cups flour
2 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons fresh lime zest, about 1 limes worth
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup kinda melted coconut oil
¼ cup olive oil
1-2 tablespoons almond milk, if needed
2 batches of Coconut Whipped Cream*
Coconut flakes to garnish
Whisk together the cornstarch, sugar, and salt in the bottom of a medium saucepan. Slowly whisk in around 1/3 cup of the coconut milk and make sure there aren’t any clumps. Any clumps are gonna ruin this shit and you'll hafta start over so stop whining and keep whisking bitch. Once all the starch is dissolved, whisk in the rest of the milk, rum, extract, and ginger and put the pot over a medium high heat. Keep whisking until the mixture is bubbling and you can feel it start to thicken up to sort of gravy texture.
Now, turn down the heat to a medium-low and grab a spatula. Keep the pot at a gentle simmer and keep scraping the bottom and the sides with a spatula to avoid pudding skin. That shit looks gross. Keep that up for 7-10 minutes or until you splooge some of the custard across the top of the pot and that spot holds its shape for a couple seconds. Gross but fucking accurate. Pour this in medium bowl, cover, and stick it in the fridge to set up, about 2 hours.
While the custard is setting, make the crust. Warm up your oven to 375 degrees. Grab a standard sized pie or tart pan and mix dry ingredients together with a fork inside of it. Make a well in the center and add the oil. Mix this all together until it all kind of clumps together and forms a ball. Add the milk a little at a time if it’s not quite coming together. You can also do this in a food processor. It’s easier but then you’ve got one more goddamn thing to wash. When you’ve got your ball of dough, flatten and press into the pan in pie crust shape and flute the edge or just make them look pretty. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes or until its golden brown all over. Let it cool for about 15 minutes then ya know, make a fucking pie.
Once the custard has fully set, go ahead and mound it in on top of the pie crust, making sure to keep it even all the way across the pan. Spread one batch of the whipped cream over the top, sprinkle over the toasted coconut and serve. This pie is fucking awesome but best eaten within 3 days of being made because the custard won't keep its shit together long after that.
* We have a recipe in all of our books or store-bought is fine too.