You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies? Not sure how you were raised but we treat our magical guests with some goddamn respect ‘round here. Whether that old man visits you or not, bake a batch of these sweet sons of bitches and get sconed for the holidays.
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Makes 8 big-ass scones
1 15 oz can of full fat coconut milk
3 bags of your favorite black chai
3 ¼ cups whole wheat pastry or all purpose flour
½ cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon powdered black chai tea*
1 cup pureed sweet potato**
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
½ cup chopped walnuts or almonds (optional)
Warm up the oven to 425 degrees and line a baking sheet with some parchment paper.
In a small sauce pan warm up the coconut milk over a medium heat until it reaches a simmer. Turn that shit off, throw in the tea bags, and set it aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and dry tea. Squeeze the tea bags that have been steeping in the coconut milk before you take them out to get the last of the flavor then throw those fuckers away. Add the sweet potato, maple syrup, and vanilla extract to the pot and whisk that shit together until it is smooth. Having trouble? Blend that bitch.
Make a hole in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the sweet potato milk mixture. Stir until all the flour is mostly mixed and then fold in the nuts if you’re using them. Shape the dough into a ball in the bowl using your hands and then move it to your baking sheet.
Pat down the dough into a circle no more than 1 ½ inches high. Take a sharp knife and cut that fucker up into 8 slices like a pizza. Don’t move them apart or anything. They’ll all stick back together but this will make it look cool and it’ll be way easier to cut later. Brush the outside with a little grape seed oil, olive oil, or almond milk, sprinkle a little extra sugar for looks and then stick that shit in the oven for 20-30 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out clean.
Let them cool for about 10 minutes before cutting back over your old slices and serving. These, like all scones, are best the day they’re made so that they don’t get all soft and gummy.
* This isn’t some weird ingredient. Just smash around 2-3 of the same kind of chai tea bags you used earlier to break up the spices, then open them up, and measure it out until you get 1 tablespoon of the dry tea and spice mixture. Done.
**Just skin, chop up, and steam one sweet potato until tender and toss in the blender or mash it up real good until you get 1 cup. Easy peasy, motherfucker.