Recipes
Tres Motherfucking LechesSometimes two leches just won't cut it
May 12, '16

Once upon a time, some motherfuckers were all, “We like cake and milk, but who has the time for both?” So they messed around in the kitchen until they got this sweet son of a bitch.* 

*almost positive this definitely probably happened.

MAY THE FOURTH MARGARITA BE WITH YOU
May 03, '16

This drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinking more than one or four, just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber then throw chips at them, yelling “IT’S NACHO FUCKING BUSINESS.”

Scope the Butternut Squash Queso recipe from our second book TK2:Party Grub

EAT YOUR GODDAMN VEGETABLES AND MAKE MOM HAPPYFUCK YEAH CARROT CAKE COUNTS
Apr 27, '16

You’re not gonna take your mom to the fucking Olive Garden like you did last year, right? You should bake your mom a cake for Mother’s Day. She’ll be happy you’re eating some vegetables and it’s the least you can do since she baked you. 

NO TIME TO EAT BREAKFAST?FUCKING DRINK IT
Apr 07, '16

Full of fiber with a dash of protein, this tasty bastard works as a filling breakfast shake or hearty dessert.

BOTTOMS UP, CHAMP.

SLIDE INTO SPRING WITH THIS CRUNCHY SON OF A BITCH AND SAYFUCK NO TO MAYO
Mar 18, '16

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

THIS WEEKEND SERVE UP A SUPER BOWL OF NACHOS*this has absolutely nothing to do with sports
Feb 04, '16

Since you’re probably eating nachos for the big game, sideline the questionable cheese-like product and sub-in our butternut squash queso for a touchdown… or home run… or whatever the fuck sports pun you think is appropriate. Go sports! Do the thing! Win all the points! TEAM NAME! 

GIVE YOURSELF REALISTIC RESOLUTIONS THIS YEAREAT CHARD PARTY CHARD
Dec 31, '15

Don’t start your New Year by eating some goddamn gut grenade. Instead dish up a bowl of this deliciousness; eating greens promises more money and noodles promise long life. So start your year getting paid in the shade you immortal motherfucker. 

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