DON'T FUCKING START THE NEW YEAR WITH SOME DRIVE-THRU DECISIONSCOOK UP A BIG ASS BOWL OF HOPPIN' JOHN
Dec 29, '13
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Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal. Let’s put the superstitious shit aside for just a goddamn minute and appreciate the nutritional value of this savory son of a bitch. There’s enough protein and fiber in here to help you start the year off right. EAT BETTER. FEEL BETTER. FUCK LUCK.

Hoppin' John

HOPPIN’ JOHN

1 ½ cups dried black-eyed peas

2 teaspoons olive oil

1 yellow onion

2 bell peppers (I used red and green but use whateverthefuck you like)

3 ribs of celery

2-3 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (these smoked peppers come packed in sauce and are sold in a tiny can at most stores near the salsa and beans. Trust me, it’s there, just fucking look.)

2-3 cloves of garlic

1 teaspoon dried thyme

½ teaspoon dried oregano

½ teaspoon paprika

¼ teaspoon ground black pepper

2 bay leaves

¼ teaspoon salt

3 cups of vegetable broth

Rinse the black-eyed peas and throw out any grit or fucked up looking peas. Put the peas in a medium container and cover them with a couple inches of water. Let them soak overnight or for at least 6 hours. After they have soaked, drain the peas and start fucking cooking.

Chop up the onion, bell peppers, and celery. In a large pot, warm up the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onion and saute that shit until it starts to brown in some places, about 5 minutes. Add the bell peppers and celery and cook until they get a little soft, about 3 minutes. Take the chipotle peppers out of the can, cut them open and scrape out the seeds. These little bastards can be spicy, so taking out the seeds helps you keep that heat wherever the fuck you like it. If you prefer it hot then keep some of the seeds in. Keep all of the seeds if you want, I really don’t give a fuck. Chop up the chipotles and dice up the garlic real fine. Add both to the pot and stir all that shit up. Add the thyme, oregano, paprika, black pepper, bay leaves, and salt and cook for 30 seconds. Toss in the drained black-eyed peas and the broth and bring that shit to a simmer.

Let it simmer uncovered until the peas are tender. This can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour depending on how long you soaked your peas and how old they are. If you start running out of broth before those are ready, add a little more broth or water. If the peas are tender and you’ve still got too much broth in there, just drain some of that shit off. Not a big fucking deal. Just check the seasoning when you are all done and add more herbs or spices if you think it needs it.

Serve this seasonal standard over your favorite kind of rice, topped with some green onions, and with a side out sauteed greens for extra luck or some superstitious shit like that. I used long brown rice and some kale for greens but whateverthefuck you got is fine. You can even use a vinegar based hot sauce (like Tabasco) on that shit and take it to another level.  

Serves 4

Eat Better. Feel Better. Fuck Luck. Make a Hoppin' John.
Hoppin' John
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Eat Better. Feel Better. Fuck Luck. Make a Hoppin' John.
DON'T FUCKING START THE NEW YEAR WITH SOME DRIVE-THRU DECISIONSCOOK UP A BIG ASS BOWL OF HOPPIN' JOHN
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