ANYBODY CAN GRILL A FUCKING BURGER OR HOTDOG. Elevate your grilling game with something that simpleminded motherfuckers wouldn’t even consider. Grilling veggies is some classy shit and it only takes a few minutes. I am not talking about some played out portabella burger that tastes like a dirty sponge. Eggplant, artichokes, okra, lettuce: all that shit can be thrown on the grill and are in peak form during the spring and summer. People are guaranteed to come correct next time you invite them over. Raise the fucking bar and grill to impress.

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Grilled Romaine Hearts with Avocado Lime Dressing


2 romaine hearts, washed, trimmed, and sliced in half

1 clove of garlic, chopped up all small

2 tablespoons olive oil

a pinch of salt and pepper

Avocado Lime Dressing

1 ripe avocado

1/3 cup fresh lime juice

2 tablespoons rice vinegar

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 clove garlic, chopped all small

½ teaspoon agave or honey

1/4 teaspoon cumin

1/4 cup water

salt to taste

For the dressing, put all the ingredients in a small food processor or blender and combine until creamy. Add the pinch of sea salt and mix it in. If that shit looks way too thick, add more water until it looks like salad dressing. Pour it all into a small container and refrigerate until the lettuce is ready.

To grill the romaine hearts, heat the grill to a medium-low heat. As long as the grill isn’t crazy hot, you are good. While the grill heats up, mix the garlic, olive oil and salt and pepper in a little cup.  Brush or spoon the oil mixture to the cut side of the lettuce. This isn’t the fucking dressing so go easy.  Place the lettuce face down on the grill for 60 seconds or until there are clear grill marks and the leaves are beginning to wilt. Flip the hearts over and grill the other side for another 60 seconds. You want the leaves to look charred but not all fucking limp so pay attention. When they look good, put them on a plate and put some dressing over the hearts. Top with sliced green onions, chopped cilantro, and plenty of black pepper.

Enough for 4 people with some extra dressing

We shared this recipe with our homies over at GQ Online, go check them out.