Yeah it’s cold as fuck outside but that’s no reason to fight over the thermostat. Instead, head to the kitchen and regulate your body temperature with this toasty toddy. GRAB A BIG ASS BLANKET AND POUR YOURSELF A GODDAMN HUG IN A MUG. 

Do your fucking part

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Grapefruit Hot Toddy


2 cups of water

2 bags of black tea

½ cup fresh grapefruit juice (about 1 grapefruit)

2 shots of bourbon

1 tablespoon maple syrup (whatever liquid sweetener you got will do)

2 cinnamon sticks (totally fucking optional)

Bring the water to a boil on the stove with a kettle or whateverthefuck else you use. In a large measuring glass or heat-safe pitcher add the grapefruit juice, bourbon, maple syrup, and cinnamon sticks. When the water is boiling, pour it into the pitcher, add the tea bags, and cover that motherfucker to keep it warm while the flavors mix. Let the tea steep for 3 minutes. Take out the tea bags and cinnamon sticks and serve that shit immediately.

Makes 2 drinks or one big ass cup of comfort