Tell your problems to wait until normal business hours for bullshit because YOU NEED A FUCKING DAY OFF.  But don’t ruin a good time by using tonic that has fucking corn syrup. That sweet syrupy shit will ruin the taste and your waist.

Do your fucking part

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Endless Summer Gin & Tonic


6 ounces tonic water (check the label - don’t buy any of that corn syrup bullshit)

3 ounces gin

1 tablespoon fresh or frozen blueberries

2 basil leaves

juice of ¼ of a lime


6 ounces tonic water

3 ounces gin

4 slices of cucumber

1 inch of fresh rosemary

juice of ¼ of a lime

Throw the blueberries and basil (or cucumber and rosemary) in the bottom of a glass with the lime juice. Mash that shit around with the handle of a wooden spoon or some other blunt object. No need to go Incredible Hulk on this shit, just lightly grind them around a couple of times to release some fucking flavor. Add the gin and tonic and stir. Drop some ice cubes in that bitch and kick your fucking feet up.

Makes 1 dope ass drink