Once upon a time, some motherfuckers were all, “We like cake and milk, but who has the time for both?” So they messed around in the kitchen until they got this sweet son of a bitch.* 

*almost positive this definitely probably happened.

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Coconut Tres Leches

Makes one 8 by 8 cake, enough for 9 people

 

1 cup almond milk

½ teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1 ¾ cup whole wheat pastry or all purpose flour

¼ cup cornstarch

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

2/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons almond extract*

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ cup olive oil

 

Coconut Caramel

2 cans of full fat coconut milk

1 cup brown sugar

4 teaspoons vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon salt

 

Toppings

Coconut whip cream (store-bought or use the recipe in TK1)

Toasted coconut flakes

Ground cinnamon

 

1. Warm up your oven to 350 degrees and grease and flour an 8 by 8 baking dish. Add the apple cider vinegar to the almond milk then set them aside.

2. In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a separate bowl mix together the sugar, extracts, oil, and almond milk mixture. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and mix that shit around until it’s mostly combined. Don’t stress if there are some lumps, those bitches will bake out. Just no dry spots of flour and you’re good to fucking go. Pour the batter into the prepared baking dish and bake for 25-35 minutes, until the sides are golden and a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out clean.

3. While the cake bakes, make the caramel. Grab a small saucepan and dump the coconut milk, sugar, vanilla extract, and salt in. Put the pot over a medium heat and stir all the ingredients together so that the sugar starts to dissolve. Bring it to a gentle boil for at least 15 minutes or until some of the liquid has evaporated and that shit starts to thicken up. It’s finished whenever that shit looks like caramel. Stir every minute or so while so you don’t get a thin skin on top or let it boil over. 

4. Let the cake cool for about 15 minutes then using a toothpick poke a shitload of holes into it so that the caramel absorbs in. Pour a cup and a half of the caramel over the cake, kinda lifting it up with a spatula so that some of the caramel can get underneath. Cover and set that sweet piece of success into the fridge to cool for at least two hours or overnight. Serve cold with some of the remaining caramel milk drizzled over, topped with some cinnamon, coconut whipped cream, and some toasted coconut flakes. Refrigerates up to two days but it’ll likely be long gone by then.

 

* No almond extract? Just add more vanilla. Fuck going back to the store again. Nobody’s got time for that shit.